It's time to go
by its a story of love
Summary: OQ Missing Year. Regina just wants to forget. Robin can't let her do that. TW for mentions of suicidal thoughts but NO ONE DIES and there is a happy ending.


**I was (still am) really nervous about posting this just because there are so many brilliant amazing OQ Missing Year Fics out there and I'm well me. Thank you very much to Charlee (snowgiina) for reading through this and encouraging me to post it.**

 **This turned out a lot deeper than I was expecting- sorry, but there is a happy ending. Promise. TW for suicidal thoughts- NO ONE DIES.**

 **Unbeta'd and I do not own any of the characters mentioned.**

 **Enjoy**

Here they were, back home in the Enchanted Forest. Except to Regina this wasn't her home, the castle was her prison. It was too big, too grand. It was cold and empty. She hated it. She hated that outside the castle grounds you could be anything- a peasant, a bandit, a shepherd, a thief and your life was yours to lead. Your life wasn't easy, but it was your own. As soon as you crossed the line, the line from normalcy to royalty you were something more. You were no longer a person; you were a pawn, a character in your own show. Her life was a never ending play. It was days like today when she wanted to bring the curtain down.

Alas the show must go on; some bastard had made sure of that. Here she stood, in the castle on the hill repeating a mantra she learned aged eight: Eyes Bright, Chins Up and Smiles on. She knew she had to play the Queen, the terrifying and Evil Queen, the truth was she wasn't quite sure she could, the Queen had never really been her, but she was even more of a stranger now.

She supposed this was her punishment for baring that moniker. For all the heinous crimes she'd committed. For raising villages to the ground. She deserved this. She knew that.

Everything has a price. Her price was the unimaginable pain, the constant ache in her heart. The tears that burned her face. The scratches, dragging her nails across her skin, the brief sting of pain tricking her into a sense of release. It wasn't enough. Nothing would ever be enough again.

/

Robin had heard a great many stories of the great and terrifying Evil Queen. He had only known her a matter of hours, and he thought it greatly undeserved- bold and audacious, certainly, and absolutely gorgeous. There was something more though- something in those eyes- eyes you should be able to lose yourself in. Pain. The pain not of death, but of life. She was smiling through it. He vowed then to offer his heart for the both of them, no matter how long it took for her to be willing to take the offer.

The Queen, Regina wasn't herself. He was worried; he had tried to be there, lightening the mood with a well-placed comment, the roll of her eyes followed by a small smirk, and a sarcastic word of her own. He remembers when he first saw her smile, a genuine smile, elusive but so satisfying.

One of those bloody flying monkeys had attacked his son; he had felt his heart in his mouth. He had been petrified, running towards him, knowing he could be too late. It was a blur if he was honest, all he knew was that there was a blast of purple smoke and the toy hadn't been as scary anymore. He clutched Roland in his arms-for his reassurance more than anything and looked at the Queen. Thank you, it would never be enough but it would have to suffice, at least for now.

He had promised not to get in her way but he couldn't stand by not when she was about to do something she regretted.

"Milady"

Regina sighed. That bloody thief. The smell of pine and forest was bad enough and now he couldn't leave her alone, and she thought Snow breathing down her neck was bad enough.

"I thought I told you not to get in my way"

"I know and I'm sorry but I can't let you do this."

"You aren't doing anything except from leaving. Now"

"It's about your son isn't it?"

"How did you know about Henry" she asked, scared and vulnerable. She just wanted to get this over with and the thief was just making it harder

"Your eyes, Milady, they hold great sadness and regret but also pride. They are the eyes of a parent who has raised someone in a world full of hardships, full of prejudice and hatred to be a better person. You have the eyes of a mother Regina, a mother who has lost so much"

She couldn't stop the tears now and she hated him for it. She wanted, needed to be strong. She needed to take the sleeping curse because fighting; bearing the pain wasn't working anymore.

"You don't understand. I think of him constantly, the boy with a mop of brown hair- whose first word was quack of all things. He couldn't reach the rubber duck in the path so he sat there pointing and screaming quack quack. She laughed thinking of the memory. The best birthday present Henry ever gave me was when he was just over 18 months old and he walked for the first time- it was a waddle really- only a couple of tentative steps before he fell. It was on his 8th birthday he got his first comic- he spent ages picking it, before settling on Superman.

Robin reminded himself to ask what a comic was later, now wasn't the time.

"When he was ten I thought I'd lost him. I thought I had failed he ran off because of me, because he thought I was evil. I had never hated myself more. I pushed him away. I blamed Miss Swan then, it was all I could do but it didn't change anything. He was in the hospital bed- dead because I was too stubborn, too caught up on revenge. I killed my own son. The only thing good in my life. He forgave me though because that is what Henry is like- he has the biggest heart out of anyone I have ever known. He is brave and strong and smart. He's my son, my little prince. He's the only reason I want to get up in the morning and now he's gone. Not just to find his birth mother. Or in the next town over. He's gone. He doesn't know of my existence. I'm just a character in a tale. So do you understand why I have to do this? It isn't the end; it's just a see you later."

"I understand, well not completely but I know what it feels like to have no one. To feel alone in the world. To be in a place where nothing feels like it can last. When I lost my wife I didn't know what to do, I didn't feel like I could go on. In all honesty I didn't want to. There is always something to live for. I had Roland, and I know you don't want to hear this, especially after losing your son but we all have a second chance Regina. We just have to open our eyes to see it"

"Robin I will never forget meeting you, but I can't keep my eyes open, I've seen too much."

"You've seen so much yet you are still here, doesn't that mean something? You live for Henry why has that changed. He's not here but that doesn't mean he's not with you, in the only place that matters- the heart. I know you're not one for hope speeches, truthfully I'm not overly fond of them-life's a piece of shit but you did the best thing someone can ever do. You taught a young man how to smile, to walk, to love. No one can take that from you. You can always write your story down- who knows maybe someday a little prince will find it. The story of a Queen and a Thief"

/

That night she sat while the little hobbit was asleep on his father's lap- he had asked for a story. She had obliged with a tale she learnt long ago

"Once upon a time there was a little prince, he saw the Evil Queen as the furthest thing from a monster and taught her the most powerful lesson of all- the most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or heard, they are felt with the heart"

/

Years later the Prince was all grown up- the hobbit in a world of his own, the thief had long since claimed her heart. The story of a family that had loved and lost. The story hasn't ended, it has reached its frozen on page XXIII. The eternal middle.

 **Thank you for reading, please consider leaving a review- with what you liked and didn't because any and all feedback is very much appreciated.**

 **Also I wish I could dedicate enough time to make this a MC but I can't because of other commitments- however if you have prompts for a short fic or drabble then let me know and I'll try and write them.**

 **C x**


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